Making Babies!

I'm going to try to keep this G rated.  As the Dementia gets worse, Grandma starts to regress in years.  She may look every bit of 87 years of age, but in her mind, I think she believes she is in her 20's.  When you are young and full of spirit, many have their mind set on relations with the opposite sex.  My husband constantly informs my girls that all boys think about is being with girls.  He thinks he is an expert on how boys think.  Grandma evidently is convinced that this is true of anyone that stays at her house.

Tonight, Grandma informed me about some girls that have been staying in her house.  They like to sneak out at night and get with those boys.  They are forbidden to be with those boys.  All they want to do is have babies!  I guess I didn't learn my lesson from last night.  My curiosity really got the best of me and I had to know what she was thinking.

She said "My sisters and their friends just use me as a cover!  They come over here and tell their momma that they are spending the night and then they get with those boys!"

Me:  "What do they do with those boys?"

Grandma:  "You know....make babies!  Just makes me sick thinking about all the babies!"

By this time....I am about to bust a gut.

Me:  "What do you mean, grandma?"

Grandma:  "I don't have no time to be taking care of no babies!  They need to go on and take their business else where!"

Me:  "Well, who do you think is making these babies?"

Grandma:  "Everybody that comes over here thinks they need to go make babies!  This is just silliness!"

Me:  "Grandma, I promise I am not making any babies!"

Grandma:  "Well, I hope not. You would just need a good spanking for that!"

And with that statement...she went to bed.  

So, if you stay at Grandma's house, try not to make babies.  She don't need no babies and would prefer you take your business elsewhere!  Priceless!

Moving and Playing the Game!

You can usually talk to someone and know when something isn't right.  At that point,  you follow your gut feeling and go with the flow.  That is exactly what happened to me tonight.  This gut feeling told me that Grandma was going to be upset.  So, instead of upsetting her even more, I played along with the delusion she was having.  I think my husband told me once to just go with the stories instead of confusing her even more.

I arrived at Grandma's to find her pulling dishes from every cabinet in the kitchen.  She had every fork, spoon, knife, cup, saucer, bowl, and pan stacked in the kitchen.  She looked at me like a deer in headlights when I walked in the door.  I guess I startled her when I walked in her door.  She informed me that we needed to hurry and load this stuff up because "the lady" was using them to serve dinner.  I asked who was the lady. She replied with a lady from the church.   She wanted to know if I had a car.  I nodded yes.  Grandma jumped into action.  The next thing I know...we are loading all the dishes in my van.  She started pulling clothes, vinyl records, photo albums, suitcases full of junk, and every dish she owned out of every corner of her house and loading it in my van.  After the first three loads, it was far too late for me to stop her.  I had to just go with the delusion.  Toilet paper, magazines, photos from the walls, decorations, and shoes came pouring out of Grandma's house.  She packed my van with so much stuff!  I tried three or four times to tell her enough was enough.  I tried to reason with her by saying we would take this load and come back for the rest.  She just kept bringing more and more stuff.  We loaded a telephone, scrapbooks, a painting, another tape player and almost all her china.

I finally convinced her to get in the van to go.  She agreed.  I pretended to lock the door as she got in the van.  She saw her lawn chair and wanted me to grab it.  I ignored the request.  We pulled out of the driveway.  She said she was tired and didn't understand why we couldn't just spend the night.  I said we could but we would have to unload everything eventually.  She told me to just drive.  At this point, I noticed the neighbors across the street watching and trying to figure out what in the world we were doing when we left.

I rounded the first corner.  AS SOON AS WE TURNED RIGHT....She realized we were at her house, but it was too late for me to fix what was about to happen next.  Grandma let me know real quick that I wasn't pulling anything over on her.  She knew I was just trying to get her out of her house.  I tried to argue, but it was pointless.  We drove to my parent's home.  I saw my dad in the doorway.  I motioned for him to come out and talk to her.  He was reluctant, because I think he sensed that I was in big trouble with her.

She let him know that I was being silly and trying to move her out of her house.  We both informed her over and over and over and over and over...you get the point...we were not trying to do any such thing.  I finally told her that I was going to take her home.  She calmed down and gave in a little.

As we pulled out of Dad's driveway, she informed me on how to get to her house from his.  We went back home.  The neighbors at this point had lined up lawn chairs in their yard across the street.  I don't know if they knew we would be back soon or just wanted to watch to see if there was anything worth stealing, but there they sat watching and laughing.  

We pulled in the driveway.  After being chewed out for over 25 minutes, I was ready for more.  She turned and looked at me with the sweetest face and lovingly stated:  "Thank you honey for bringing me back home.  I didn't want to stay in that other town tonight."

You just want to scream at her and try to figure out WHAT IN THE WORLD?  But it is pointless.  We unloaded the van.  I piled everything back up in the kitchen and dining room.  I'm sure the neighbors had a big laugh.

I went straight to my bedroom and threw myself across the bed.  She came in and gave me her teeth and said she was going to bed as well.  I replied "that is probably a good idea!"

Of course, the thought of all that stuff being piled up in the dining room got the best of her and within an hour, she was up and putting it all back where it belonged.

Moral of the story, don't play along with the delusion...unless you are willing to play the entire game.  I had to play the entire game and this quarterback was wiped out!  Wait, I guess I was a receiver or tailback.    Quarterbacks control the game, and Grandma was in complete control of moving her stuff!  I just ran the play that she called. 

Finalist for Best Personal Blog!

I was a finalist for Best Personal Blog!  Very cool!  What an honor!  Check out the other blogs.

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/dailyrft/2013/01/2013_rft_web_awards_finalists.php

Thank you, Dementia!

Thank you, Dementia!

Thank you?  Yes, you read it right.  Dementia is all about the mind and what is lost from our loved ones.  But sometimes, when our loved ones lose someone then the grieving process is really easy.

It has been almost three years since my grandfather passed away.  He was 92.   He hurt his hip and went down fast from that point.  While we were losing Grandpa, Grandma was oblivious to the situation.

Tonight, when I came in the door, she was doing her usual packing and moving from one room to another.  I asked her what she was doing.  She told me about Grandpa going to Hot Springs and wanting to get a house over there.  I just went along with the story.  She said she was having to pack everything and get ready for the move.  I asked her about the clothes and items on the table.  She said she didn't know how they got there.  She reiterated how upset she was with Grandpa.  She said that she wished he would just get settled and stay in one spot.

We tell her all the time that Grandpa is dead and he isn't coming back.  Do you know how hard that is to say every single day?   And why do we say it?  Grandma isn't going to remember it.  She isn't going to cry about losing him.  We only say it for our benefit.  She will ask when Grandpa is going to get there.  I tell her that he is dead.  She gets sad all of 30 seconds, and then she wants to know if she can put the suitcase under my bed or the vinyl records behind the headboard.

How many times have you heard about  married couples dying within a few months of each other because their hearts are broken from their loss?  June and Johnny Cash died within 4 months of each other after 35 years of marriage.  I have no idea if Grandma and Grandpa shared that kind of love for each other.  I do know,however, whenever you saw one, the other one wasn't to far behind.  They were married for over 60 years.  Even if they didn't love each other like Johnny and June, I'm sure one would be lonely without the other.

This is why I am thanking dementia.   Grandma hasn't grieved for Grandpa.  She goes about her daily task waiting for him to get home.  We can tell her about his death and where he is buried, but she forgets and starts over.  I truly believe if the dementia was gone, Grandma wouldn't be with us today.  She would have died within a few months of Grandpa. Not from old age or an illness, but from loneliness and a broken heart.

I know this blog is not like my other post.  It is just something that hit my dad and I.  We were discussing it with my other grandmother earlier tonight.

There are some funny conversations with her about Grandpa.

Grandma:  You can't sleep in this bedroom.  This is Ellis's bedroom. He will be back soon.

Me:  Ellis died.
Grandma:  YEA! (A very sarcastic tone) Sure, you better stop that lying!  You don't know one thing you are talking about.
Me:  (Thinking to myself, Grandma doesn't even know what I am talking about.)  He died 3 years ago.
At this point, grandma usually gets a little flustered, then she comes back with how she is going to tell my daddy.

I give her 5 minutes then she comes in to my room and forgets we had the conversation.  From this point, I am not going to tell her.  I'm just going to play along.  Let the fun begin!    

Dinner and a Grandma

Many times, Dad has had to miss birthday dinners and family get togethers in order to cater to Grandma at night.  Saturday night, he decided to bring Grandma to Famous Dave's for my sister's birthday dinner.  Grandma was uneasy about the trip but she got ready.  She spent Wednesday night hiding her shoes.  So, on Saturday when it was time to go, the only shoes Dad could find was the red shoes missing soles.  She put the shoes on and got in the car. Her gray stringy hair hanging down her back.

I was warned by text Grandma was on her way.  I knew in my mind this was going to be a treat for not only her but for Dad too.  We arrived around 6:00 PM at the restaurant.  Mom, Dad, Grandma, and 10 other relatives were waiting on us.  I naturally took my seat beside Grandma.  She didn't know my name, but she recognized me to some extent.  She was glad to see us but I could tell she was overwhelmed by all the faces.

She nibbled constantly on chips and appetizers while we waited on our food.  I videotaped her with my phone.  She would be talking and when she saw the camera, she would shut up!  I was really wanting to catch her make some comments.  My sister's ring caught her eye.  She told me she had lost her rings. I told her that she had hid them in her house.  I started filming her again and she saw herself on the phone.  She smiled and said "Hello".  As soon as the camera went off, she said she looked like an old hag.

We ate and carried on with our dinner.  She saw my sister and mom talking.  She thought they were talking about her.  I told her that they were talking about me.  She said they kept looking at her and making comments.  I told her again that they were talking about me not her.

She ate everything on her plate.  She really enjoyed the meal and enjoyed visiting but you could tell the night was taking its toll on her.  She finished up her meal and said she had a little headache.

Around 7:00 PM, the fun started!  The waitress arrived with the check and gave it to Daddy.  OMG!!  She looked at me and wanted to know if he was going to pay for the meal.  I said yes and told her daddy always pays for the meals.  Sara told her the same thing.   She was upset about this situation.

Grandma:  He can't afford to pay for YOUR meals. He is my husband, and I am a nurse.  I work at the hospital and we can't afford this.

Me:  It is ok, Grandma.  He does this all the time.  (WRONG COMMENT)

Grandma:  You need to pass a basket around the table so everyone can chip in and pay for all this food.

Me:  It is ok.  We are fine.

Grandma:  Yeah..You want him to pay.   I know how you all operate.  You take us out to eat and make him pay.  You stick us with the bill, and you get off scott free!

By this time, I was laughing.

She started getting agitated.  She mumbled something to daddy.

My mother, looked at Daddy and said:  Sweetheart, do you need something?

Grandma asked who she was.  I told her mom was Daddy's wife Brenda.

She gave mom a look and nodded at her.  She had made several looks towards mom.  Mom said the seating arrangement would be different the next time.  LOL

Grandma decided she had enough of all this commotion.  She pushed her seat back and said she was going home.

Everyone was looking at her and asked her where she was going.  She walked towards the other table and grabbed a paper towel to blow her nose.  I went to her and told her that we would be leaving soon. She was ready to go right now!  I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom.  She said she could wait until she got home.  A 45 minute drive, I didn't think she could hold it.  I offered to take her to the bathroom.

We get in the bathroom.  It didn't dawn on me until she was trying to operate the electric paper towel dispenser that she didn't understand what to do.   Kiley and I were laughing when she pushed the motion sensor to get towels out.

We got out of there quickly and she told me I wasn't moving quick enough.  I led her out to the van.  Daddy opened up the door for anyone riding with him to get in.  Grandma made a line to the van.  She got in and held her head.  She had all she could take.

Grandma Fears

Dementia has almost put Grandma in the state of fear all the time.  She is scared of someone coming in the door at night and losing her teeth.  I stayed a couple of nights and witnessed the fear of "the man" and losing her teeth.

I arrived at her house early.  We watched a little tv together.  She likes Wheel of Fortune.  She doesn't really get into the game but likes Vanna's dresses.  We had a good visit.   Then I decided to head to the back bedroom to go to bed.

Grandma asked if I wanted to sleep with her.  I told her I was fine in the back bedroom.  She sarcastically asked me if I wanted the bed all to myself.  I tried to respond but all I got out was a simple "Yes".

Grandma:  Yeah!  Selfish aren't you!  I hope that guy gets you tonight and then you will scream for me to come in here!  I won't come because you don't want me in here.

As quick as she told me how selfish I was, she then turned and told me that she didn't want me to slip out of the bed and out the front door.  She knows my daddy and he won't allow that foolishness!

Another night, I stayed with her.  We did  the routine of getting ready for bed.  I put her teeth in the cabinet.  I listened to the story about how the woman comes in her house everyday and takes the mates to all her shoes.  This woman evidently only needs one shoe and likes to surprise people.  She also likes to come to Grandma's house and move her stuff around.   This action just infuriates Grandma.  She does not like people to touch her stuff.  We spent an hour hiding stuff under my bed and in the closet in my room.

Around 8:15, she came in and asked me:  You got my teeth?  There is a man that comes every night and gets my teeth. (my dad)  He puts them in the cabinet in the bathroom.  I don't want him to get them tonight.  I will hide them in the window.

I responded with a nod and told her to go ahead.  She hid the teeth and left the room.

About 20 minutes later, she came back in the room:  You got my teeth?  There is a man that comes every night and gets my teeth.  He puts them in the cabinet in the bathroom.  I don't want him to get them tonight.  I am going to hide them in the closet.

I nodded and told her where she had hid them in the window.  She moved them to the closet and went back to bed.

This occurred about 8 more times.  She hid them in the dresser, under the bed, in the cabinet, on the shelf, in a box, and in the kleenex.  Same question and same story about "the man" coming in every night and getting them.

The last time she came in the room was around midnight.  She peeked in the room and wanted to know if I had her teeth.

Me:  Yes, I have your teeth.  There is a man that comes in every night and gets your teeth.  He puts them in the cabinet in the bathroom.  Tonight, we decided to hide them in the window, in the closet, in the dresser, under the bed, in the cabinet, on the shelf, in a box, and finally in the kleenex.  He isn't going to get them tonight.

Grandma:  Well!  You think you know everything......DON'T YOU?

She slammed the door as she left the room.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to not laugh out loud at her when she says these things?

Operation Clean Sheets

First of all, before you read this entire blog, I need to set the scene for you.

Play the Mission Impossible theme song in your head.  I’m in my van outside of Grandma’s house with my lights off.  I have my phone on the speaker phone with Shelby on the line.  She is inside the house with Grandma.  I was there earlier and had changed the sheets on Grandma’s bed.  The sheets were going to my mother’s house to be washed.  So, here is how Operation Clean Sheets went down.  Stop the theme song in your head; I will tell you when to return to the music.

24 hours earlier, Dad and Mom had to leave unexpectedly for a funeral, so I had to take care of Grandma.  Grandma was in a good mood this weekend. She didn’t call Daddy a million times a day.  We forwarded his phone to my phone.  We did this in order for me to handle all her ordeals and questions.  Kiley stayed Friday night and tried to stir drama up with Grandma by telling her various things that were going on in today’s culture.  She also kept telling Grandma that she needed to take off the green dress she was wearing.  This particular green dress is her favorite.  She has worn it for the last two weeks.  Kiley has been trying to get her to take it off and wash it.  BUT that is an entirely new post.  I will get to that later.

Anyway, back to the story..... Shelby was staying with Grandma.  We joined them with KFC chicken.  We all sat and visited as we ate our dinner.  Grandma loves company.  I gave Kiley the cue to keep conversation going with Grandma, and I went to her bedroom and stripped the sheets.  I rolled the bedspread very carefully so I could set it back up easily.  I asked Grandma where she kept her sheets.  She answered without thinking twice.  They were in a drawer in the back bedroom.  I looked.  I found the gold pitcher.  I found the gold bowl.  I found pecans and more pecans.  However, I did not find sheets.

Frustrated, I looked in the middle bedroom. To my dismay, I did not find any sheets in there either. Finally, I looked in the bathroom and there under the sink was one pillow case and one sheet.  JACKPOT!

I put them on her bed, careful to put the covers back on the bed exactly as she left them. I only had one pillow case.  So, I chose the ugliest pillow, and left the other two on the other side of the bed.  I reset the internet, because she had unplugged it due to the fact that is uses her electricity.  I also set out a night gown.  I thought if she saw something nice to wear then she would change clothes.

I headed back to the dining room and gave the girls the sign that the sheet change had been completed, so Kiley and I left and explained to her that Ellis is dead, Gary is in Oklahoma, Shelby was staying with her, and I would be back in the morning with her breakfast.  Kiley had aggravated her again.  She was glad to see her go.

We got to the corner and I realized I had forgotten the sheets to wash at mom’s house.  AAAHHHHH!  Grandma probably had her security system in place.  Shelby would have to remove all 30 million chairs to get to the door.  She would also have to sneak out with them.

(Start Mission Impossible Theme song in your head once again here.)

I called Shelby and explained the operation.  

Her mission if she was to accept it:  Grab the sheets that were wrapped in a red blanket in the back bedroom.  I would be in the driveway with my lights off.  She was to keep all communications on for surveillance in the van outside.

I heard Shelby walk through the house.  AND THEN NINJA GRANDMA CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! AND she was in sundowners mode.

Ninja Grandma:  Where are you going with those?  Those are mine.

Shelby:  I am going to give them to Carole Anne to wash.

At this point, I knew that Agent Shelby had been compromised, and I had to move in fast and quick in order for the operation to go smoothly.  Ninja Grandma can be quick at grabbing the possession and hiding it.

I ran in the house! I grabbed the blanket and sheets from Agent Shelby,  and started to turn and run out!

Ninja Grandma:  “Hey, you can’t take my sheets.  You need to get your own.  Bring those back!!”

Me:  “I’m going to wash them out here and bring them back.”  (Her laundry room is in the garage.)

Ninja Grandma “No, you are not!  You give those back.”

Me:  “I’m going to wash them.”

Ninja Grandma:  “Who are you?  Well, wash them in cold water.”

I laughed as I left.  It was quick and fast.  The entire time Operation Clean Sheets was in play, and Agent Shelby stood there between us with her mouth open having no idea what to say or do.  I think she may be a double agent.  I will have to investigate her further and provide more training.

I left Agent Shelby there with Ninja Grandma. I figured she could fend for herself. The look on her face told me she was not happy, but she had to deal with Ninja Grandma on her own... because I was out of there!

The next morning I returned the clean sheets to her bedroom.  I told her that she needed to change the sheets on her bed, and she said she would.  Ninja Grandma with sundowners had left, and Grandma was back.  She thanked me for getting her clean sheets out for her. We ate breakfast.  I hugged her as I left and thanked her for all the special memories.  She laughed.  “OOOHHHH Girl, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

That is ok...because I do...well, for now I do.  :)

Oh. Oops. You can stop playing the Mission Impossible theme song in your head now.

Going Crazy with Sundowners

Well, here it is February.  Grandma is still going strong.  For around three months, we have been missing the second pair of teeth.  Shelby, my 15 year old, was cleaning her room last week and opened an old suitcase.  As she emptied the contents, she noticed something in the bottom.  It was a plastic bowl with a lid, and there was Grandma's second pair of teeth.  She freaked.  Her friend freaked. They had to call me and I freaked.  I mean really, how often do you find a pair of teeth in your room.

We had a long weekend.  I ended up staying with Grandma.  As luck would have it, her sundowners was in rare form last night.  We went over around 5:30 to put her teeth up.  Shelby insisted on going in and getting them.  Shelby ran in and Grandma ran out.  She was fully dressed in her Sunday best.  She was carrying to pans and three lids.  She got to the van and started handing them to me.  I asked what are you doing.  She said she needed to get home and get out of there.  I looked at her and said you are home.  She looked around and said it again.  I said no and told her where she was once again.  It started sinking in and she started realizing that she was really home.  Shelby and I walked her back in the house.  Of course, she had every dish, pot, pan, lid, cup, and bowl out of her cabinets.  All her china was out on the hutch.  She was moving and I was going to take her home in her mind. 

She was adamant about me getting back in the house.  So, I looked at her and told her we needed to hide her teeth and then I would come back to spend the night with her.  She didn't want to hide them.  She just wanted to go home.  I asked her if she recognized me.  She said "Yes, you are Carole Anne.  I'm not crazy."  Well, maybe not in her world, but in mine...Grandma you are off the charts right now.

We finally go the teeth and hid them safely in the back bathroom in a coffee cup. 

To be continued.......

I apologize for not writing in January, but the girls have been taking turns spending the night with Grandma and I haven't had a chance.

Junior Moment

If you are going to stay at Grandma's house, the rule is to be there around 6:00 PM.  Sundowners starts to set in and Grandma starts to get paranoid.  She begins calling Daddy every 15 minutes wanting him to come over.  She stays confused about where she lives.  She says that she has these feelings in her belly.  That statement was a new one for me.  She can feel that something is wrong in her belly.

Grandma's mind basically shuts down at night.  I think it is from being tired,  but mostly her mind is not making connections as well as it does during the day.

It was my turn to stay at Grandma's house.  I decided to see how long I could stay at my mother's house before she started calling.  I went to her house to put her teeth in the cabinet.  She was in the bed getting ready to go to sleep.  She had already put her teeth away.  JUST GREAT!  Another teeth hunt was about to happen.  I went into the long spill of how my husband and I were going to spend the night with her.  I told her that we would be back later because we had not had dinner yet.  She said it was ok and told me to go on.

I started the hunt in the kitchen.  Hunting for teeth has taken on a new twist.  She hides her teeth in any kind of container.  She hid her teeth in a huge crystal bowl, and she had just placed a small cup in the bottom of the bowl.  So when hunting for her teeth, I had to check every bowl, pot, and cup.  I got on top of the cabinet because I am vertically challenged, and started opening cabinet doors one by one.  She heard me in the kitchen.

She hollared, "Carole Anne, what in the world are you doing?"

As always, I told her that I was looking for her teeth because she hid them from me.

She yelled back at me and said, "Well, they are in the corner cabinet in a cup."

My grandmother has DEMENTIA!!!  She cannot remember my name for more than 10 seconds, but yet she had hid her teeth and remembered where she put them.  At first, I didn't believe her.  Then, I slowly got down and looked in the corner cabinet.  Right there on the side in a coffee cup, were Grandma's teeth.  I was shaking my head and laughing at the same time.

We all have those senior moments where we forget something.  For instance, I forget where I put my keys all the time.  Tonight, instead of forgetting where she put her teeth, Grandma had a junior moment and remembered something important for the first time in several years.

It was, by far, a very funny moment. Yet despite the laughter, it was a sweet moment as well. These are the times I cherish with my grandma. 

Rinse and Repeat

I had a chance to observe Grandma's daily activities.  If you were to see her, you wouldn't think anything is wrong.  She is just an elderly woman living a normal life.  According to demntiacarecentral.com, 24% of those age 80-89.  The other 76%, I am guessing, suffer from old age.  Grandma does typical things around her home and just seems normal.  

After reading further on dementia care central, I found that you can slow dementia down with exercise and mental activities, and that is exactly what keeps my grandmother going.  She has Moderately Severe Cognitive Dementia which usually lasts around one and a half years.  Well, we are going on probably around three years with grandma. Here is her schedule after I did some surveillance.

7:00 AM-She wakes up. Locates her shoes that she hid the night before.  Doesn't even give a thought to her teeth.

7:30 AM-Daddy shows up with her breakfast. (Biscuits and Gravy)  He fixes her a cup of coffee from which she will drink less than half.  He usually gets her teeth for her at this time, if she hasn't hidden them in one of her top secret hiding places such as under the bed, under the sink, in the pots and pans, or in a even crazier place like the dishwasher.

8:00 AM-After Daddy leaves for work.  She decides to lay down for a bit.

8:10 AM-She gets up and starts her busy day.  She may start packing in her room.  She goes where the suitcases are.  If the suitcases are in the back bedroom, she moves them to the front bedroom and starts unpacking.  She goes through each item as if she has never seen it before.  She packs pictures, notes, books, and anything in her dresser that she feels is important.  If she finds something that looks as if it my be worth something because it has a little gold painted on it, she hides it.  Apparently, gold is worth more than anything else -- and that is what the imaginary people want.  Yes! They want the perfume bottle with a gold cap, because no one wants a thief to smell bad.  She will literally pack up everything in a bedroom and move it to another bedroom and unpack it.  She will spend time rereading everything again and hiding items in that new room.

8:45 AM-She heads outside.  She pulls her lawn chair out of the laundry room and sits on her carport for a few minutes watching and observing what needs to be done in the yard.

9:00 AM-She locates the tools she will need to take care of the yard: rake, broom, and pecan picker!

9:05 AM-Time for another little nap.

9:15 AM-She gets up and heads outside.  She will rake and sweep and pick up pecans for two or three hours.  She bags them up and sits them on the curb.  During this time, she will have a bowl to pick up any pecans she may find.

11:45 AM-She heads in for a small nap.

12:00 PM-Daddy shows up with lunch and her medicine.  She visits with him and wants to know if he is working.

12:30 PM  She lays down for a small nap again.

12: 50 PM  We start all over..... and repeat this entire cycle.  Only, she may go in the back yard and rake leaves.

If there are no leaves to rake, then she sweeps every corner of the garage, the driveway, and the sidewalks.

She has the best looking yard in the neighborhood!

I have found that she hides particular things.  For instance, the gold bowl with pitcher.  She says these things are high valued items.  Evidently, the lady or man that sneaks in every night wants the gold pitcher.  It has to be hidden in the best hiding places in the house.  For example, the gold pitcher has been found behind the toilet many times and has been hidden in the closet under the towels.

She hides the pecans.  The woman probably has every last pecan from those crazy trees hidden in every corner of her house.  She doesn't have a single bowl in her kitchen because those are being used to best conceal the pecans in the closets, drawers, dishwasher, or under the sink or couch.  We still can't get the bag of pecans out of her grandfather clock in the dining room.  She reminds me of a pirate; she finds her treasure in the front yard and then hides it.  She hides it in her top secret places so no one will steal her prize.

She hides her shoes.  Why? we can't figure out. But she makes my middle daughter hide them all over the house, and she can't hide them together, either.  She must hide one shoe in the living room and one shoe in the dining room.  If the thief is going to steal her shoes, he is going to have to work for each and every pair.

Around 5:30, the sun starts going down and Grandma starts getting agitated and starts calling Daddy.  She wants to know when he is going to come home and stay with her.  She is over there by herself and needs someone to stay with her.  He usually heads out the door between 5:45 and 7:00.

Lights are out around 7:30, unless she really gets upset and frustrated, as she did with me last week.  "OMG!" was all I could say.  I got a new purse and decided to clean it out.  She came in around 8:00 PM and said "it's time to go to bed, and you're charging the electricity up and I don't have the money to pay for you to come over and just sit in the bed with your pajamas on and not even look like your sick and all." How dare I wear pants to bed?! I have no pride in myself, and I'm not even a decent girl! I laughed.  She said it wasn't funny.  I tried to pull myself together, but when your grandmother is yelling at you to go to bed and telling you aren't decent because you have on pajama pants, then you have to laugh.  I was also laughing about how I would never forget this night because I was secretly filming her with my phone.  Then, she got fired up about telling Gary (my dad) how I come over there and use her stuff and all the electricity.  I told her to go call Gary.  She told me to call him.  I said I didn't have her phone.  She said it was a good thing because I would probably run that bill up, too!!!

I called my parents.  My mother told me to get tough and put her to bed, so I took that approach.  I told grandma she was tired and needed to go to bed.  She said she would go to bed when I go to bed.  She went and called Daddy.  She told him that I was over there using up the electricity.  He told her that I was his granddaughter and that I loved her.  She said I didn't know what love is.  She wanted me to go on and get out.  During the phone conversation, she asked me if my mother knew that I acted this way.  I said "yes."  (MOM WAS THE REASON FOR ALL OF THIS!  She told me to get tough.)  Daddy told her to go to bed.  She hung up the phone, but you could tell she was still upset.  I told her to go to bed.  She said she will go when I leave.  I asked her who was going to take care of her if I leave.  She wanted to know who was going to take care of me.  I told her that I had muscles and plenty of sticks in the back room to defend myself.  She held up her arms and flapped her muscles and said, "Sure, you got muscles." in the most sarcastic tone she could manage.

I told her once more to go to bed.  That is when she turned and said, "I'm going to slap you to bed."  I literally laughed out loud, but I had to stop myself.  She said a few more things and slammed the door.

So, here's a summary of what I learned from observing Grandma:

1.  If you have a loved one with dementia, they have to follow a routine.  They will continue with something that they have done all their life.  My grandmother has worked hard in the past.  She has always worked in the yard.  Now she spends her days raking leaves and picking up pecans.  When I get in my 80's and have dementia -- my chances are higher because of genetics -- I will probably spend my days scrolling through Pinterest and stalking Facebook.

2.  Do NOT tell them what to do.  They will get pretty upset and call your Daddy.

3.  Don't laugh because if you laugh then they will tell you that you need to grow up.  They will ask you how old you are.  When you say that you are in your 30's, they will reply with "Oh, Lord."  or "Lord, have mercy!"  Then they will accuse you of lying.

4. The best way to steal her pecans is to put them in a sack and tell her you need to take them to sell or have someone get them ready to eat for her.  She will let you walk right out the front door with them.  Hmmm.. I guess I should give her money for the electricity and tell her it is from the pecans.

5.  Finally, remember: no matter how hard it is to deal with all of this, she will forget it by 7:00 AM and start all over.

Rinse and repeat!