My Inheritance

I'm often curious about how many times the elderly lose their teeth in nursing homes.  Grandma loses hers everyday, because she has to hide them every night from this man that wants her teeth.  This puzzles me because naturally there is no man and I am constantly thinking Grandma is delusional.  This week revealed the truth and Grandma isn't crazy or delusional.

I got the call Friday night that Grandma had lost her teeth once again.  I told mom that I couldn't come until the next day.  The entire night, I was thinking of places Grandma would have hid them.  Under dressers, under the bed, in the closet, in the kitchen.....I got a plan in my head to find them.

I arrived at Grandma's house around 3:30.  She was already in a wild state of mind because she wanted her teeth.  Of course, the same old story..that old man has them and she wants hers back.  So, we start looking.  It wasn't too long that we found a set of teeth.  We found her original pair of teeth.  HERS!  Now, try to keep up....we lost a set of teeth that I thought was hers and she claimed they belonged to the man.  Then I went and bought her a new pair because we lost the pair that she said were not hers.  Then I found the pair (the pair that she claims are not hers.) Now, we have lost the new pair and found another pair of teeth that are really her original teeth that she said the man took right out of her mouth.  So, whose teeth are those that I found?  Well, come to find out Grandma was telling the truth.  They are Grandpa's second pair of teeth.  OH MY LORD!!!!

So, now we have Grandpa's second pair of teeth (His first pair are buried with him.)  We have a Grandma's teeth, and now we have lost the new pair that I spent an entire day to get for her last week!  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!  And this man that she keeps talking about that took her teeth turns out is my Grandpa.  Dementia is an ugly beast when it robs you of memories.  My poor Grandma still thinks Grandpa is alive until you remind her that he isn't.  I hugged her when we found them and decided to calm her down a little bit.   So, we went to the living room.  I played gospel hymns that I knew she would love to hear.  She rocked in her new rocking chair.

As she rocked in the rocking chair, she remembered seeing the rocking chair at Crackerbarrel and how bad she wanted one.  I said yes, Grandma.  Then she told me that Gary brought it to her.  And once again, I reminded her that I wanted her to be happy. So, I told Gary to go and get it.  She smiled from ear to ear.  Gary came in an sung a song for her.  She was amazed at how well I played the piano.  In her mind, I'm not old enough to play or drive or have kids.

I stayed a while longer and kept looking for the new pair of teeth.  I couldn't let Grandma know what I was looking for because she had her old teeth.  I finally left a few hours later.  My cousin was on her way to spend the night, and I tried to prepare Grandma for her arrival as best as I could. 

I left and went to Wal-Mart with my youngest.  My dad got worried that Grandma was going to find Grandpa's teeth.  He can't handle touching teeth. That is why I am constantly coming to the rescue.  And as many times as Grandma has lost them in the last week, I'm starting to believe she loses them on purpose to see me.  LOL

Grandma and my daughter when I
went back to get Grandpa's teeth.

So, I go back by Grandma's house to get the teeth.  I didn't have a bowl, a bag, or anything to put them in to protect them.  So, I stuck them in my pocket!!!!  I was literally freaking out with teeth in the pocket.  My cousin was there and was visiting with Grandma.  She realized what I had done.  I had to get out of there fast. 

I got to Mom's and told her what I had done.  She was laughing at me.  She found a bowl for me to keep Grandpa's teeth.  A Dora the Explorer bowl was what she had for me to put them in.  Mom and I had the conversation of what am I going to do with them.  I don't know.  She said to throw them away, but they were my Grandpa's teeth.  If they were some stranger's teeth, then they wouldn't have even been in my pocket.  Daddy didn't want them.  Pretty sure, there isn't a recycling program for false teeth or is there?  LOL

So, now I'm driving around with Grandpa's teeth in the Dora the Explorer bowl in my console of my car.  I'm trying to figure out what to do with them.  Someone suggested that I have them bronzed.  Not sure I want that on my mantle, but what a conversation piece that would be. 

"Whose teeth?"
"Grandpa's"
"Why do you have them?"
"It's my inheritance!"  LOL