Thursday, September 6, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Puberty? Oh No, Grandma Is In Heat!
I don't think I ever saw Grandma show any type of affection towards Grandpa. I even remember how Grandpa slept in the back bedroom, and Grandma slept in the front bedroom. So, it was a big surprise the other night when she started showing her affections towards the opposite sex...my husband.
First of all, I was late getting to Grandma's house Friday night. Dad had gone to take care of her until I arrived. This totally messed up her night. She was very upset with Daddy for leaving her in my care and wanted him to stay. I told her not to worry and we would be fine. Terry came in later. Of course, he always talks to her gently and hugs her neck and lets her know that he is family. She has never questioned him and has always welcomed him into the house.
We went to bed. Shelby was with us and went to bed in the middle room. Grandma was full aware that she had a full house. She came to the door. This was not her usual barge in and start hiding everything in sight. Instead, she knocked gently and asked if anyone wanted to sleep in her room. I said "No, we were fine." A little later, she came in and acted like she was trying to cover herself. I could tell she had on her underwear but not much else. She started looking around the corner. At this point, I realized she was wanting someone to sleep with her again. Not just anyone, but my husband was who she wanted. I laughed.
She came in and asked again for someone to come sleep with her. Laughing in my head, I started going over the following conversation.
"No, Grandma. You can't have my husband."
"Why not?"
"Because he is mine and not yours."
I broke away from my train of thought when I realized she was making her way into the bedroom barely dressed. Terry was on the other side of the bed with his head in the iPad and not paying any attention to what was going on in his environment.
I ordered Grandma to go to bed. I told her that I was sleeping in the back room with Terry. She then said there was not enough room in that bed for both of us. I told her to go to bed again. She slowly turned around and left the room. I turned to Terry and told him that she wanted him! He laughed and reminded me of how lonely she must be. Then it hit me, imagine not knowing who anyone is when you look at them. They seem familiar but yet you can't identify them. Then imagine your brain forgetting what behaviors are appropriate and inappropriate. Dementia plays cruel tricks on your mind. Grandma's mind is telling her that she needs a man to fill the loneliness, not in a bad way. Her mind tells her a man is protection and comfort. Considering the day and age that she grew up, she doesn't see women serving as protectors or ones that can call the police in emergency. These are jobs for men, and a man was sleeping in her house but he wasn't where he could protect her.
She came back again. Terry quickly started calling me "honey" and "babe." I started laughing at the way he was saying them so direct. Grandma asked again. I repeated myself and realized that puberty had arrived.
Skint Monkey
My day with Grandma started off with her refusing to go to the annual family reunion. She insisted that it was rude to show up at a family reunion without any food. She didn't fix anything and therefore it was horrible that I was making her go.
The conversation:
Grandma: "You just can't go to a reunion without food."
Me: "Grandma, it is ok. Brenda fixed everything."
Grandma: "Have you lost your mind?"
Me: "Nope." (Thinking..she has.)
Grandma: "Who raised you?"
Me: "Brenda and Gary"
Grandma: "You don't have much sense. You do not show up at a reunion without food."
Me: "Fine. Tell Gary to take you to KFC and get some chicken."
Grandma: "Hmmph."
I told her that her hair needed to be fixed. She said ok. The first time I fixed her hair, she looked at it and said: "I look like a skint monkey." She meant skinned monkey.
So, we took it down and fixed her hair again. This time I teased it a little to give it some poof. She repeated that she looked like a skint monkey. I tried to fix it several times and then she grabbed the brush and told me that I didn't know what I was doing. I said fine.
She fixed her hair and mumbled the entire time. I left the room to get ready. When I returned, she had half her hair up and half of it down. I told her that it looked great. She told me she wasn't going to a family reunion looking like a skint monkey.
The conversation:
Grandma: "You just can't go to a reunion without food."
Me: "Grandma, it is ok. Brenda fixed everything."
Grandma: "Have you lost your mind?"
Me: "Nope." (Thinking..she has.)
Grandma: "Who raised you?"
Me: "Brenda and Gary"
Grandma: "You don't have much sense. You do not show up at a reunion without food."
Me: "Fine. Tell Gary to take you to KFC and get some chicken."
Grandma: "Hmmph."
I told her that her hair needed to be fixed. She said ok. The first time I fixed her hair, she looked at it and said: "I look like a skint monkey." She meant skinned monkey.So, we took it down and fixed her hair again. This time I teased it a little to give it some poof. She repeated that she looked like a skint monkey. I tried to fix it several times and then she grabbed the brush and told me that I didn't know what I was doing. I said fine.
She fixed her hair and mumbled the entire time. I left the room to get ready. When I returned, she had half her hair up and half of it down. I told her that it looked great. She told me she wasn't going to a family reunion looking like a skint monkey.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Let's Go Get Gary!
The night with Grandma was fairly calm. You could tell that being with out Daddy around, that she was growing more anxious.
I brought her some Mac and Cheese. She wholeheartedly ate every last bit of it. We still had a few gnats from the dishwasher/fig incident. We visited and discussed the same questions.
I received a phone call from my husband and went to the living room to talk to him. She joined me after she finished cleaning the dishes. We discussed why I was there and not Daddy. I told her Daddy needed to be with Brenda. She went into another orbit. Who is Brenda? When did he get married? He never mentions her.
I really wasn't sure what to say, but I went into how Brenda is mean and wants Daddy to stay with her. Grandma said she knew what that meant. The whole idea of discussing my parents took an awkward turn and I tried to change the subject. I wanted to tell her that they have already been together and that is how I am here. Of course, the whole "Who's Your Daddy?" conversation would have started once again. Then, She wanted to know where the "others" were that were like Gary. Others? I said Randall and Brent. She responded with a nod. I told her they were with their families.
This conversation repeated itself several times until I finally got tired and told her I was going to bed. She agreed and got up to put all the chairs in place. Two chairs placed under the knob at the back door, and four at the garage door. Before she put the garage door chairs in place, she went out and walked around my van. She peeked in the windows and stood there studying it for a minute or two.
She called Daddy before we finally settled down. I don't know how the conversation started. I know Daddy told her that Brenda wanted him at home. And I heard Grandma say, "Well, I guess I should just shut up then." And with that comment, she slammed the phone down.
Around 9:00, she came in my room and calmly sat on the bed. I just knew I was in trouble. She looked at me and said that Gary needed to get home. This whole idea of him being married was crazy. She then looked me in the eyes and said, "I could drive your van and we could go get Gary."
"Drive my van?"
"Yes, let's go get Gary."
"No, Grandma. Go to bed."
"I need to get him out of that mess he is into over there."
"Grandma, it is ok. Go to bed."
"No, he is suppose to be here and I want to peek in the windows and see what is so important that he can't come home."
"No, Grandma. "
After a few minutes of this banter, she looked at me one more time and said, "Let's go get Gary. You can drive."
I brought her some Mac and Cheese. She wholeheartedly ate every last bit of it. We still had a few gnats from the dishwasher/fig incident. We visited and discussed the same questions.
I received a phone call from my husband and went to the living room to talk to him. She joined me after she finished cleaning the dishes. We discussed why I was there and not Daddy. I told her Daddy needed to be with Brenda. She went into another orbit. Who is Brenda? When did he get married? He never mentions her.
I really wasn't sure what to say, but I went into how Brenda is mean and wants Daddy to stay with her. Grandma said she knew what that meant. The whole idea of discussing my parents took an awkward turn and I tried to change the subject. I wanted to tell her that they have already been together and that is how I am here. Of course, the whole "Who's Your Daddy?" conversation would have started once again. Then, She wanted to know where the "others" were that were like Gary. Others? I said Randall and Brent. She responded with a nod. I told her they were with their families.
This conversation repeated itself several times until I finally got tired and told her I was going to bed. She agreed and got up to put all the chairs in place. Two chairs placed under the knob at the back door, and four at the garage door. Before she put the garage door chairs in place, she went out and walked around my van. She peeked in the windows and stood there studying it for a minute or two.
She called Daddy before we finally settled down. I don't know how the conversation started. I know Daddy told her that Brenda wanted him at home. And I heard Grandma say, "Well, I guess I should just shut up then." And with that comment, she slammed the phone down.
Around 9:00, she came in my room and calmly sat on the bed. I just knew I was in trouble. She looked at me and said that Gary needed to get home. This whole idea of him being married was crazy. She then looked me in the eyes and said, "I could drive your van and we could go get Gary."
"Drive my van?"
"Yes, let's go get Gary."
"No, Grandma. Go to bed."
"I need to get him out of that mess he is into over there."
"Grandma, it is ok. Go to bed."
"No, he is suppose to be here and I want to peek in the windows and see what is so important that he can't come home."
"No, Grandma. "
After a few minutes of this banter, she looked at me one more time and said, "Let's go get Gary. You can drive."
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Stories and More Stories
Just when I think I have dementia figured out, Grandma will do something completely out of the ordinary. She has a routine and if that schedule is not followed, then she goes into a total spin out of character. She gets downright mean and ugly. And that was the case last night.
Daddy was on vacation and since I had time, I decided to stay with Grandma again. Since this was not the normal routine for me to stay more than one night, Grandma started getting a little more anxious each night.
I got to her house around 7:00. She was already aggravated with Daddy because he wasn't there. I brought her something to eat, but she just nibbled on it. She asked the usual questions. How many kids do you have? How old are they? Etc.... Then she wanted to know why I was there. I told her Daddy was tired and wanted to stay at his house. She didn't like my answer. She wanted to know who told me to come over. I told her that she called me to come over. She raised her voice at me, "STORIES, just stories."
She asked again, "Who told you to come over here and stay with me?"
"You did, Grandma."
"No, I didn't. Why are you telling these stories?"
"I'm not telling stories. I wanted to come here and stay with you."
"Is Ellis paying you?"
"Nope."
"Well, I don't need you to stay here."
"Ok, Grandma, but you can't call and say you need someone to stay."
"More Stories."
This conversation went on at least three more times. She would go to bed and lay down and then get back up and come and argue. Her mind wasn't comprehending anything I was saying. It made her anxious and upset. At that point, She decided to just let me have it.
I had my laptop out and was typing the post for the night before. I had a table lamp, fan, and tv on. She went into this frustrated voice with me. She started telling me how if I stay with her, my husband is going to leave me and then I won't have children anymore. She said I needed to stay home with him and tend to his needs. She then went into how it was after 8:30 and it was time to go to bed. If I don't get my sleep then I will be worthless the next day. I was laughing on the inside because we went from not having a husband and kids to going to bed before 8:30 in a matter of seconds.
The final frustration of hers was how much electricity I was using with all my stuff. It is rude to go to someone's house and use their electricity and stay up all hours of the night. (It was only 8:45 at this point.) I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was the reason I am up all hours of the night. She wanted to know if my mom and dad let me stay up all night with all these things and using up their electricity. I told her I was 40. She interrupted me and in frustration, she stated, "Stories, more stories."
You can't reason with a person that has dementia. You have to play games with them. You quickly realize what triggers their emotions. You try to stay away from those topics. You also will repeat yourself several times. I change the story up sometimes to see if she is paying attention. She usually looks at me funny and sighs. Somehow, I just keep the cycle going with Stories and More Stories.
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| Grandma packing the suitcase with a blanket and fussing at me for telling stories. |
I got to her house around 7:00. She was already aggravated with Daddy because he wasn't there. I brought her something to eat, but she just nibbled on it. She asked the usual questions. How many kids do you have? How old are they? Etc.... Then she wanted to know why I was there. I told her Daddy was tired and wanted to stay at his house. She didn't like my answer. She wanted to know who told me to come over. I told her that she called me to come over. She raised her voice at me, "STORIES, just stories."
 |
| Moving the cassette tapes. Don't won't them to get stolen. |
"You did, Grandma."
"No, I didn't. Why are you telling these stories?"
"I'm not telling stories. I wanted to come here and stay with you."
"Is Ellis paying you?"
"Nope."
"Well, I don't need you to stay here."
"Ok, Grandma, but you can't call and say you need someone to stay."
"More Stories."
This conversation went on at least three more times. She would go to bed and lay down and then get back up and come and argue. Her mind wasn't comprehending anything I was saying. It made her anxious and upset. At that point, She decided to just let me have it.
I had my laptop out and was typing the post for the night before. I had a table lamp, fan, and tv on. She went into this frustrated voice with me. She started telling me how if I stay with her, my husband is going to leave me and then I won't have children anymore. She said I needed to stay home with him and tend to his needs. She then went into how it was after 8:30 and it was time to go to bed. If I don't get my sleep then I will be worthless the next day. I was laughing on the inside because we went from not having a husband and kids to going to bed before 8:30 in a matter of seconds.
 |
| She decide to move everything from her bedroom into the dining room. |
You can't reason with a person that has dementia. You have to play games with them. You quickly realize what triggers their emotions. You try to stay away from those topics. You also will repeat yourself several times. I change the story up sometimes to see if she is paying attention. She usually looks at me funny and sighs. Somehow, I just keep the cycle going with Stories and More Stories.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Rummaging and Hoarding
I got to Grandma's around 6:45 pm. I was so tired. I went straight to bed and didn't even bother to get her teeth from her. She came in and started moving stuff from dresser to the chester drawer. She pulled the suitcases out of the closet. I was so exhausted that I heard her but was to tired to care.
She called Daddy three times. She told him I was in the bedroom asleep and wasn't going to hear anyone if they broke in the house. Probably true...I was that tired.
I woke up around 11:00 p.m. I was so hot! I went to turn on the AC. It was on heat and set around 85 degrees. When it clicked on, Grandma jumped up. She came out the door and scared me a little. She stared me down in the hall way. I knew she didn't recognize me.
I said, "Hey, Grandma. Sorry about waking you up."
Grandma looked me up and down and said, "Are you pregnant?"
"No, just fat."
"You look pregnant."
Well, thanks grandma. My self confidence is out the roof with your support! LOL
"Nope, not pregnant. Just fat."
"You are not fat. You just don't need to wear that outfit again."
"Ok, Grandma. I will not wear this outfit again." And with that I made a mental note to never be seen in public in my PJs. :)
So, after I packed everything up and got my phone back. I got to wondering why she rummaged through my stuff. Dementia can play weird tricks with the mind. Grandma was probably looking for her teeth and decided the stuff in the bag was distracting and she needed to put it up. So, she did. Dementia patients have to stay busy. They are constantly looking for items. They don't know what they have lost but they are constantly looking. They then have a need to keep everything safe and hid.
I left grandma in the kitchen. She was already starting to rummage in the kitchen drawers. I told her that I found all my stuff. She turned and looked at me. She had no idea what I was talking about. I left and thought, "Well played, Grandma, well played."
Monday, August 6, 2012
My Mind is Asleep, but I'm Here
After spending a day with family, I was extremely tired and ready for a nice peaceful evening. I had in my mind, if I go spend the night with grandma, then I can go to bed early. So, I volunteered to take care of grandma with every intention of going to bed at 7:30!
Grandma was in a good mood when I arrived. She was upset that Daddy wasn't coming but was glad I was there. I'm not big enough to fight off the "boogers" that might break in and try to get us, but I could call 911. We have gathered from the last three months, the longer that Daddy doesn't stay with her, the more irritated she gets.
Shelby stayed with her Friday night. Grandma called Daddy every 30 minutes telling him to get over there. The little girl wasn't going to work. Shelby was a trooper according to dad. She went in there and held her ground with Grandma.
Kiley stayed Saturday night. She goes in there and visits with Grandma. Grandma always ask if Kiley has a boyfriend. Grandma always fusses about the men running off and leaving them there. This weekend, she was fussing about the men running off and drinking whiskey. Kiley was caught off guard and asked "What in the world are you talking about?"
So, I arrived Sunday night. Third night without dad, and yes, grandma was not a happy camper. I got there at 6:00 ready to crash in the bed. I was wiped out. Grandma was wanting to visit. She wanted something to eat. She wanted some milk. I fixed her a drink. Called dad and had him bring some of the cornbread we had left over from dinner. We sat there while I ate, and she decided that she wasn't hungry after all.
7:00 p.m.: I needed to wash a load of clothes. I went to the laundry room. When I came back into the house, Grandma was hauling boxes, moving papers, stacking dishes, and stashing her favorite things. I asked her what she was doing. She said she needed to get this place back in order. The "other" lady came in earlier in the day and pulled all her stuff out. I just rolled my eyes and agreed.
I went to the bedroom and got ready for bed. Grandma came in ready to clean the room. She unloaded the dresser full of clothes, blankets, tapes, and a tape recorder. I was amazed at how much she had crammed into this little chester drawers. She turned and started putting it in the other dresser in the room. She brought the tapes to the bed and carefully put them in a shoe box. The tapes consisted of Conway Twitty, The Gaithers, and old gospel songs. She then put the shoe box in a McDonald's bag and then into a hospital bowl. She then placed this essemble into a suit case and hid it in the closet. She looked at me and then placed two blankets on top of it. She turned and said "yep, the booger that is taking my stuff will have a hard time finding those tapes." I shook my head and just rolled over to watch tv.
She then pulled the cassette player out and laid it on top of the bed. She looked at me and explained how the other lady was breaking in and moving her stuff and playing the cassette tapes. Really? I wanted to look at her and say "Ok, sure, someone probably wants them because they are antiques." But being the good granddaughter, I agreed. She then put the cassette player under the bed and told me to not be playing with it. I was that kind of kid that would push all the buttons. So, of course, she thinks I am going to destroy the tape player. How often does it get played? NEVER!
8:30 p.m.: Grandma comes back in and unloads the dresser and starts moving everything back to the chester drawers. After spending a good 15 minutes of pulling all the clothes out. She left the room and went and got the golden pitcher. AHHHH the gold pitcher! The pitcher that she accused so many of stealing over the years. One time, she went door to door in the neighborhood and asked if they stole it. Can you imagine their faces? Grandma showing up, probably accusing them instead of asking, if they stole the golden pitcher from her house.
She managed to stuff the pitcher into a drawer of the dresser. I was amazed that she managed to get it in there. She then pushed the drawer shut and finished it off with a good kick. LOL She finally started saying how tired she was. I started thinking..."YOU HAVE WORN ME OUT!"
10:15 p.m.: She went to the kitchen and started working on dishes, then she screamed. I ran in there thinking the worse had happened but I found her fighting flies, gnats, and bugs in the dishwasher. Yes, she had stored figs in the utensil basket in the dishwasher. Of course, they did not look like figs. They looked like a bad biology project. I was sick!
I grabbed the basket and went out the door. I told her to shut it and that we would run the dishwasher to clean it up. I went out and beat the basket into the trash can. Thinking to myself the entire time "DADDY OWES ME BIG FOR THIS ONE!"
I returned to the kitchen to find that she had managed to start the dishwasher. I opened it to put the basket back in the dishwasher. She had put detergent in it and was mumbling to herself by the phone. She was probably planning on calling Daddy to tell him. I had already called him by this point.
I helped finish cleaning up the kitchen. Gnats and flies are still going everywhere. I started killing everything that was flying in that kitchen. I decided to check on the dishwasher. I opened it up. It was full of bubbles. She had used Dawn Liquid Soap to wash the dishes. That was the final straw. I was exhausted, sick, and aggravated. I turned to Grandma and said in a very motherly stern voice, "Grandma, go to your room right now. Do not come out until I tell you to come out." She looked at me and sternly muttered the words "Ok, but I don't like you very much."
At that point, I realized what dementia does to a person's mind. They totally lose all aspects of thinking. Her mind has turned child like, and the granddaughter has become the mother. You realize your purpose in those moments.
She went to bed. I cleaned up the bubbles and the remaining figs in the dishwasher. I turned the washer on high rinse and wash. I went and checked on grandma. She lay quietly in her bed. She rolled over and looked at me.
"Hey, are you the only one here?" she whispered.
"Yes, grandma. It is just me."
"Good, you know my mind is like...well, it is like asleep but...well I'm here."
Yes, grandma. I know."
"Well, I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Carole Anne, you want to sleep in here with me?"
"No, grandma. I'm good."
"Ok. Don't touch anything in that room and go to bed."
I left and laughed as I walked out the door. I went to bed obediently, and I didn't touch the cassette player under the bed the rest of the night. :)
PS I took her teeth and hid them in the back bathroom. Just in case that "booger" needs teeth to sing with the tape player and cassette tapes that he might steal later.
Grandma was in a good mood when I arrived. She was upset that Daddy wasn't coming but was glad I was there. I'm not big enough to fight off the "boogers" that might break in and try to get us, but I could call 911. We have gathered from the last three months, the longer that Daddy doesn't stay with her, the more irritated she gets.
Shelby stayed with her Friday night. Grandma called Daddy every 30 minutes telling him to get over there. The little girl wasn't going to work. Shelby was a trooper according to dad. She went in there and held her ground with Grandma.
Kiley stayed Saturday night. She goes in there and visits with Grandma. Grandma always ask if Kiley has a boyfriend. Grandma always fusses about the men running off and leaving them there. This weekend, she was fussing about the men running off and drinking whiskey. Kiley was caught off guard and asked "What in the world are you talking about?"
So, I arrived Sunday night. Third night without dad, and yes, grandma was not a happy camper. I got there at 6:00 ready to crash in the bed. I was wiped out. Grandma was wanting to visit. She wanted something to eat. She wanted some milk. I fixed her a drink. Called dad and had him bring some of the cornbread we had left over from dinner. We sat there while I ate, and she decided that she wasn't hungry after all.
7:00 p.m.: I needed to wash a load of clothes. I went to the laundry room. When I came back into the house, Grandma was hauling boxes, moving papers, stacking dishes, and stashing her favorite things. I asked her what she was doing. She said she needed to get this place back in order. The "other" lady came in earlier in the day and pulled all her stuff out. I just rolled my eyes and agreed.
I went to the bedroom and got ready for bed. Grandma came in ready to clean the room. She unloaded the dresser full of clothes, blankets, tapes, and a tape recorder. I was amazed at how much she had crammed into this little chester drawers. She turned and started putting it in the other dresser in the room. She brought the tapes to the bed and carefully put them in a shoe box. The tapes consisted of Conway Twitty, The Gaithers, and old gospel songs. She then put the shoe box in a McDonald's bag and then into a hospital bowl. She then placed this essemble into a suit case and hid it in the closet. She looked at me and then placed two blankets on top of it. She turned and said "yep, the booger that is taking my stuff will have a hard time finding those tapes." I shook my head and just rolled over to watch tv.
She then pulled the cassette player out and laid it on top of the bed. She looked at me and explained how the other lady was breaking in and moving her stuff and playing the cassette tapes. Really? I wanted to look at her and say "Ok, sure, someone probably wants them because they are antiques." But being the good granddaughter, I agreed. She then put the cassette player under the bed and told me to not be playing with it. I was that kind of kid that would push all the buttons. So, of course, she thinks I am going to destroy the tape player. How often does it get played? NEVER!
She managed to stuff the pitcher into a drawer of the dresser. I was amazed that she managed to get it in there. She then pushed the drawer shut and finished it off with a good kick. LOL She finally started saying how tired she was. I started thinking..."YOU HAVE WORN ME OUT!"
10:15 p.m.: She went to the kitchen and started working on dishes, then she screamed. I ran in there thinking the worse had happened but I found her fighting flies, gnats, and bugs in the dishwasher. Yes, she had stored figs in the utensil basket in the dishwasher. Of course, they did not look like figs. They looked like a bad biology project. I was sick!
I grabbed the basket and went out the door. I told her to shut it and that we would run the dishwasher to clean it up. I went out and beat the basket into the trash can. Thinking to myself the entire time "DADDY OWES ME BIG FOR THIS ONE!"
I returned to the kitchen to find that she had managed to start the dishwasher. I opened it to put the basket back in the dishwasher. She had put detergent in it and was mumbling to herself by the phone. She was probably planning on calling Daddy to tell him. I had already called him by this point.
At that point, I realized what dementia does to a person's mind. They totally lose all aspects of thinking. Her mind has turned child like, and the granddaughter has become the mother. You realize your purpose in those moments.
She went to bed. I cleaned up the bubbles and the remaining figs in the dishwasher. I turned the washer on high rinse and wash. I went and checked on grandma. She lay quietly in her bed. She rolled over and looked at me.
"Hey, are you the only one here?" she whispered.
"Yes, grandma. It is just me."
"Good, you know my mind is like...well, it is like asleep but...well I'm here."
Yes, grandma. I know."
"Well, I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Carole Anne, you want to sleep in here with me?"
"No, grandma. I'm good."
"Ok. Don't touch anything in that room and go to bed."
I left and laughed as I walked out the door. I went to bed obediently, and I didn't touch the cassette player under the bed the rest of the night. :)
PS I took her teeth and hid them in the back bathroom. Just in case that "booger" needs teeth to sing with the tape player and cassette tapes that he might steal later.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
My Dementia
Have you ever wondered what goes on in a Dementia patient's mind? I often wonder what Grandma is thinking. She looks at me sometimes, and I can tell she is deep in thought. Probably trying to figure out who I am, but then she will say "Don't you have 3 girls?" So, something is connecting in her mind.
Last night, I spent the night with her and found her in bed when I got there. She said the heat had gotten to her. It was 104 degrees outside. It felt like 90 degrees in her house. I turned the AC down to 68 to cool the place off. Since, I was a little girl, her and grandpa always did everything to save a penny here and there. From turning out the lights to unplugging the dishwasher, they had to save a penny. If there was a little red light blinking, then it was using up energy and costing them another dime that they did not have. I know in her mind, she turned the AC up so it would go off and not run all day. You have to save a penny.
We have routines and patterns that we grow old doing. You do something so much that it becomes a habit without thinking. Grandma is that way. She has the habit of turning the AC up, turning all the lights off at 7:00 pm, and unplugging everything with a blinking light. I found the dryer unplugged the other night. It doesn't even have a blinking light. She worries so much about saving money that she has flash lights for you to use after 7. She has bat eyes. She can see in the dark and doesn't need a flashlight.
Her habits even extend to her teeth. She hid her teeth from Grandpa. He would get up before her and put them in his mouth. Of course, the lights were out and he couldn't see that they were hers. Then she would get mad, and hide them from him. So, now she is scared the guy is going to get them because that has been implanted in her head for so many years.
So, I tell you all this to explain what happened last night with Grandma. Around 9:00, grandma decided to go to bed. I was in my room and I opened the door with her standing there. She informed me that she was going to bed and I needed to do the same. She gave me her teeth and told me to hide them in a very safe place.
About 10:30, she came in and scared me once again. I was watching tv. She said I needed to turn the lights off. It was keeping her awake. So, I said I would in a few minutes. 11:00 pm rolls around, and I still have the light on and tv. This time, she was a little bit more stern with me. She said it was time to turn the lights and tv off because I was burning up money. I told her to go to bed and not worry about me. Now, here is where I started thinking about what she was thinking. She thinks I'm still a little girl, her granddaughter, and some what of a stranger. Stranger? Yes, I look familiar and she recognizes me by name but her brain doesn't make the connections when she is tired and upset. So, she knows I am family, but who I am and how I am related to her doesn't connect every time.
I finally turned the light out and laid in bed with the iPad. She came to the room and told me that it was time to turn the "tv" off (my iPad) and for me to go to bed. She stated several times that the men folk would be coming in soon. She then informed me that I needed to come and sleep with her. Oh lord! I told her no and that I would move when they told me to move. :) She told me to put up my toys and go to bed. LOL
This continued until about 1:00 am. At one point, I was totally asleep and out cold. You know one of those times when you are sleeping so hard that you don't know where you are! Well, when you are that deep in sleep and you wake up with grandma in your face telling you that you need to put up your toys...It is SCARY! I literally about jumped across the room. Once, I realized what was happening, I woke up and told her to go on to bed. She was pointing to my iPad and iPhone. I pushed them under the cover and told her that I would put them up in the morning.
Of course like anyone else with Dementia, short term memory resets in the morning. I woke up with Grandma looking for her teeth. I got ready and packed up all my toys. I found her in the kitchen eating breakfast. She smiled and said, "Good morning, honey. Did you sleep good?" I wanted to say "NO, some crazy lady kept me up all night." But my dementia set in and I said "I did, grandma." She finished her food and I left. I hugged her goodbye and she told me that she loved me. She may not know my name every time or that I am almost 40 years old, but she knows she loves me and I love her.
Last night, I spent the night with her and found her in bed when I got there. She said the heat had gotten to her. It was 104 degrees outside. It felt like 90 degrees in her house. I turned the AC down to 68 to cool the place off. Since, I was a little girl, her and grandpa always did everything to save a penny here and there. From turning out the lights to unplugging the dishwasher, they had to save a penny. If there was a little red light blinking, then it was using up energy and costing them another dime that they did not have. I know in her mind, she turned the AC up so it would go off and not run all day. You have to save a penny.
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| Grandma's habit of charing the phone every night. Tonight, she was trying to charge the cordless phone on an 8 track cassette adapter. |
Her habits even extend to her teeth. She hid her teeth from Grandpa. He would get up before her and put them in his mouth. Of course, the lights were out and he couldn't see that they were hers. Then she would get mad, and hide them from him. So, now she is scared the guy is going to get them because that has been implanted in her head for so many years.
So, I tell you all this to explain what happened last night with Grandma. Around 9:00, grandma decided to go to bed. I was in my room and I opened the door with her standing there. She informed me that she was going to bed and I needed to do the same. She gave me her teeth and told me to hide them in a very safe place.
About 10:30, she came in and scared me once again. I was watching tv. She said I needed to turn the lights off. It was keeping her awake. So, I said I would in a few minutes. 11:00 pm rolls around, and I still have the light on and tv. This time, she was a little bit more stern with me. She said it was time to turn the lights and tv off because I was burning up money. I told her to go to bed and not worry about me. Now, here is where I started thinking about what she was thinking. She thinks I'm still a little girl, her granddaughter, and some what of a stranger. Stranger? Yes, I look familiar and she recognizes me by name but her brain doesn't make the connections when she is tired and upset. So, she knows I am family, but who I am and how I am related to her doesn't connect every time.
I finally turned the light out and laid in bed with the iPad. She came to the room and told me that it was time to turn the "tv" off (my iPad) and for me to go to bed. She stated several times that the men folk would be coming in soon. She then informed me that I needed to come and sleep with her. Oh lord! I told her no and that I would move when they told me to move. :) She told me to put up my toys and go to bed. LOL
This continued until about 1:00 am. At one point, I was totally asleep and out cold. You know one of those times when you are sleeping so hard that you don't know where you are! Well, when you are that deep in sleep and you wake up with grandma in your face telling you that you need to put up your toys...It is SCARY! I literally about jumped across the room. Once, I realized what was happening, I woke up and told her to go on to bed. She was pointing to my iPad and iPhone. I pushed them under the cover and told her that I would put them up in the morning.
Of course like anyone else with Dementia, short term memory resets in the morning. I woke up with Grandma looking for her teeth. I got ready and packed up all my toys. I found her in the kitchen eating breakfast. She smiled and said, "Good morning, honey. Did you sleep good?" I wanted to say "NO, some crazy lady kept me up all night." But my dementia set in and I said "I did, grandma." She finished her food and I left. I hugged her goodbye and she told me that she loved me. She may not know my name every time or that I am almost 40 years old, but she knows she loves me and I love her.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Calling In The Troops
When you can't find something or do something, your last resort is to call in backup. Grandma lost her teeth again. Daddy called me this morning to come help find them. I told him that I had a pair but I didn't know whose?. How many of you have a spare pair of teeth in your house? Well, I do for the occasions that Grandma's loses both pairs of teeth that she owns and can't keep in her mouth.
Well, I couldn't get to grandma's today, but I sent the troops. Kiley, Shelby and Molly! They went to Grandma's house and proceeded to go through all of her stuff. Grandma usually cannot stand for people to go through all of her stuff. The last time we called the troops in, she ran and put her teeth in. She hadn't lost them, she just needed someone to trigger her memory.
This time, Grandma loved that everyone was at her house. No teeth and a happy grandma!
Kiley is spending the night with her tonight. She has been staying with Grandma off and on for a couple of months now. Grandma loves sitting with Kiley and talking about clothes, shoes, and what she is doing. We thought it was weird that Grandma hit it off with Kiley so easily. Then, she started calling Kiley-"Carole Anne." Things were made clear.
Kiley said that Grandma fell yesterday and is hurting tonight. Nothing major, just some bumps and bruises.
This time, Grandma loved that everyone was at her house. No teeth and a happy grandma!
Kiley is spending the night with her tonight. She has been staying with Grandma off and on for a couple of months now. Grandma loves sitting with Kiley and talking about clothes, shoes, and what she is doing. We thought it was weird that Grandma hit it off with Kiley so easily. Then, she started calling Kiley-"Carole Anne." Things were made clear.
Kiley said that Grandma fell yesterday and is hurting tonight. Nothing major, just some bumps and bruises.
Quick Recap
Summer 2012...Grandma is still going strong. Daddy took her to a family reunion a couple of weeks ago and to visit Grandpa's grave. Grandma was wiped out from the day of events. On the way home, she asked Daddy..."Who's funeral was that we attended today?" He reminded her that it was a family reunion.
About two weeks ago, she lost her teeth. Daddy called me to come over and hunt them down. I looked everywhere and couldn't find them. So, my mother being very blunt and bold with Grandma takes the entire group of grandkids to her house. She walks in with all of them and tells them to find Grandma's teeth. Seeing this group of crazy kids running through her house caused Grandma to go into a slight panic. She realized quickly that they were going through all of her stuff.
Mom went to the back room to watch Molly and Jayce. Grandma went out the back door and then walked back in with her teeth. So, now we are wondering...if we take crazy kids...will crazy Grandma remember more? hmmmm
Grandma has good days and bad days at this point. You never know if you are going to show up on a good day or a bad day. I showed up on a good day and it turned into a bad day about a month ago. Here is how it all went down....
Mom and Dad went to a family reunion in Tennessee. They took Pidge and went to visit all the Greenways. I went over to take care of Grandma. I get there and we had a great time visiting and talking about Grandpa. She was so excited that I was staying with her. Then she got to asking about Gary (my dad). I told her that he was out of town with Brenda for the night. Then she went into this long spill about how they got married behind her back and had been living together for over 40 years and no one told her. :)
Mom posted pictures of the family reunion. So, I shared them with Grandma on the iPad. She was fascinated that we could hold the tv in our hands. She caught on quickly to moving the photos and zooming in. I showed her a group photo of everyone at the reunion. Then she spotted Daddy. She said..."isn't that Gary?" I said yes. She said..."I knew it! He didn't tell me he was going to be gone and in another state." Then the night went down hill from there. She went on and on until almost 11:00 that night about how she was going to get ahold of Daddy and give him a good chewing. She said that was so unlike him going over into another state and not telling her. She finally calmed down and went to bed.
Many things have happened over the last year. I haven't had time to write all of them. This is just a few in the last couple of weeks. So, until the next time...which I promise will not be as long.
About two weeks ago, she lost her teeth. Daddy called me to come over and hunt them down. I looked everywhere and couldn't find them. So, my mother being very blunt and bold with Grandma takes the entire group of grandkids to her house. She walks in with all of them and tells them to find Grandma's teeth. Seeing this group of crazy kids running through her house caused Grandma to go into a slight panic. She realized quickly that they were going through all of her stuff.
Mom went to the back room to watch Molly and Jayce. Grandma went out the back door and then walked back in with her teeth. So, now we are wondering...if we take crazy kids...will crazy Grandma remember more? hmmmm
Grandma has good days and bad days at this point. You never know if you are going to show up on a good day or a bad day. I showed up on a good day and it turned into a bad day about a month ago. Here is how it all went down....
Mom and Dad went to a family reunion in Tennessee. They took Pidge and went to visit all the Greenways. I went over to take care of Grandma. I get there and we had a great time visiting and talking about Grandpa. She was so excited that I was staying with her. Then she got to asking about Gary (my dad). I told her that he was out of town with Brenda for the night. Then she went into this long spill about how they got married behind her back and had been living together for over 40 years and no one told her. :)
Mom posted pictures of the family reunion. So, I shared them with Grandma on the iPad. She was fascinated that we could hold the tv in our hands. She caught on quickly to moving the photos and zooming in. I showed her a group photo of everyone at the reunion. Then she spotted Daddy. She said..."isn't that Gary?" I said yes. She said..."I knew it! He didn't tell me he was going to be gone and in another state." Then the night went down hill from there. She went on and on until almost 11:00 that night about how she was going to get ahold of Daddy and give him a good chewing. She said that was so unlike him going over into another state and not telling her. She finally calmed down and went to bed.
Many things have happened over the last year. I haven't had time to write all of them. This is just a few in the last couple of weeks. So, until the next time...which I promise will not be as long.
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